I work freelance in the commercials and television industry. Much like a lion does for his lunch, I have to hunt mine down. Right now, I work with this particular production company that does a series of fast food commercials. I was told at the beginning of January to keep the last week of January free for the next commercial we were shooting. So I did that! I was so excited to have 5 full days of work locked away.
Cut to last Tuesday and I get a text message that reads, "hey bud I'm sorry but I'm going to have to let you go. They're shortening the crew. Sorry". Now in the past, I would have been okay with this. I would have faith that I would book another job. This time was different. I was in the middle of a game, where the rules of playing mean having 20 work days completed in one month. For me, 20 days in one month is a stretch, and a huge success if accomplished. I counted these 5 days that were booked earlier in the month as part of my 20. I was looking forward to it and I mentally spent that money already.
Now, after working 5 or 6 straight [14+hours/day] days, getting this text message threw me for more than just a loop. I was so tired that when I read that message all I could read was "we don't want you". That shit... was PERSONAL. In that moment, all I could think was: "that's it! I'm over this! they don't want me I don't want them!"
Frankly, it was all downhill from there...
Being told that I wasn't needed for the job was like adding water to the bad seed. The vines kept growing everywhere and I couldn't control it. I just kept trying and trying and trying to weed whack all the bad stuff. What was showing up for me was that I was convinced that my ex-boyfriend was in a relationship. And you're probably thinking what the heck does HE have to do with anything. To me, everything! I just KNEW he was seeing someone else. And that someone was not me.
After nearly 4 hours in this self-deprecating, pity party of 1, I finally reached for a life raft. I called my dear friend Shana for some coaching. She picked up and I proceeded to vomit my feelings about the job and everything else on her for 10 minutes. Once I was done, she made sure she got it all and then said to me: "It has NOTHING to do with you."
I let that sink in. Once I grasped that concept, she continued to explain that all the turmoil I was putting myself in was uncalled for. The bottom line is this: the production had to drop someone due to someone higher up the ladder telling them to do so. No one was plotting against me. I just happened to be the guy who didn't make the cut. Nothing personal. As for the ex..."Yes, he could very well be seeing someone else. So what...?"
She was right. It had nothing to do with me if he was seeing a new potential partner. That was his life he was living; not mine. She also set my head right regarding all the other little nooks and crannies I had meandered into. Overall, It has nothing to do me. So stop making it about me.
In that moment I felt relief. I realized once again that there was only ONE life I was living and it is mine. Where I am right now, good, bad or indifferent, is based only on MY own choices. I started to own my life. If I chose this life right now, I could choose a completely operational and extraordinary life in every moment. So with that, I suggest that we stop making it about US! Make choices now that your future-self will thank you for.