There was a time when not a lot was going right, it seemed. I was going no where in my relationship as well as my career and I just kind of coasted along. Having no real ups or downs. Nothing to get overly upset about or too excited about, I suppose. But I'll never forget the day when I woke up to life. It was June 6th, 2011, and marked the beginning of my spiritual awakening. It was the day that my then boyfriend told me he'd cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend, that he wanted to be single, and that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me. All in the same breath.
Woof. At that time, all I could feel was capital F-you! My ego was dismantled and destroyed. It was the first time I really started to freak out about my life and had a overwhelming need to find a purpose.
There was an inner call, a burning desire for transformation and service. Among many of the confronting things I started, I began working with a mentor, whom you all must know by now (Mastin Kipp - founder of TheDailyLove.com), took courses at Landmark Education and completed the curriculum for living, got Baptized for the first time, and created and moderated a morning wellness program in my office.
Once I started grinding out, doing the personal work, which I still do, bigger "wants" started to open up for me. I've lived in NY my entire life (NJ for the last 6) and now, I realized that I am responsible for creating the life I want and love. My declaration last November (2011) was: "I want to move to California. I want to keep my job. And I specifically want to live in Nob Hill, a neighborhood in San Francisco."
[Fun fact about Nob Hill, according to Wikipedia: "It's name comes from the noun "nob," which is used in British English to mean "one in a superior position in life."]
The yearning started to grow. I started to seek, search, explore and heed the call to my declaration. And guess what, all of that IS HAPPENING! I'm starting the drive across America on December 20th, stopping in 9 cities before arriving at my final destination, San Francisco, California! By way of Craigslist, I landed an adorable place in Nob Hill with awesome roommates with similar interests and good hearts. I get to keep my job and work from home, managing our West Coast clients - that we so conveniently recently acquired.
I've restored a relationship between my parents, and between my mother and myself. I've also gotten completion with a few men in my life, unexpectedly. I'm living my life powerfully, and reaping what I'm sowing. And I'm terrified. You might identify with me if you've ever feel that "impending doom" feeling. Even thought I'm totally stoked, I'm also terrified.
Looking back now, I'm forever grateful for my ex and that historic day in my life. It's part of my story. Now, I can say THANK YOU for that moment and it being the catalyst to point me onto the Path of adventure, which is when my life truly began! I'm clear that there is no randomness, and there are no accidents.
So, when the going gets good, how can I trust God (or if you prefer to identify with another reference such as: The Divine, Higher Source, The Universe.) even more in this moment? And when things go wrong, how can I see that it's a blessing in disguise?