What I was subconsciously doing was placing actions that happened in the past, actions that I didn't necessarily agree with, in front of the conversion, or the listening to this person. Anytime they'd try to have a conversation with me, it was almost like a dark storm cloud would take over my being, covering up my rays of sunshine. "They don't deserve my light." And so because I'd been so closed off to this person, the payoff for me was that I got to make this person "wrong" for nearly two years!
I admitted that I'd be inauthentic and unfairly listening, and created the possibility of a judgement free space for us to have true communication. From that point on, it was like a burden (that I created) had been removed from my inner space. It was freeing! And from that point on, the communication was abundant, and honest. I'm totally grateful for the Creator (Universe/God/Whatever you refert to IT as.) for opening my eyes to that. It's like my life coach, Mastin Kipp, says "the Uni-verse shakens you to awaken you!"
Think about your own life. In your own relationships. Maybe when you were younger your dad never made it to any of your soccer games. Your mom worked nights and never saw your dance recitals. You probably created a story that your parents don't love you. You built resentment and ill feelings towards them and moved away, choosing to hardly ever speak with them. Guess what? You've gotten to be right for the past however many years. And you've made them wrong. What's that cost you though? Has it cost you a loving relationship with your mother or father?
To be right, or to be kind? That is a question to continually ask yourself. Y'know, our days here are numbered. Newsflash, you haven't got all the time in the world! Oh, and by the way, make sure you have people in your life who are going to call you out on your bullshit. Even if it's just that one friend. And don't be afraid to BE this type of support for one another, either. Everyone wins when it's out of Love.