I have been really examining my relationship with my word. That is, am I doing what I say I'm going to do -- by when I say I am going to complete it?
This is what I've come to:
I have a casual relationship to my word.
I will honor my word and do what I say I will, but what makes the relationship casual is the time I take to actually complete the task. Being fifteen minutes later than I said I would be, turning in a project a day or two past the deadline I said I would meet, and not reaching the fully intended goal originally established are all symptoms of it being casual. For some, its not as simple as these examples.
Integrity, as I have learned it to mean is honoring your word. And when find yourself in a position where you can't honor your word, it's informing those who may be effected by you not following through. Recently, I've been coached to write down a list of all the areas I am out of integrity in my life. Not gonna lie, I have been avoiding it like it's my job!
The thought of having to comb through all the places I haven't done what I said I was going to do is terrifying to me right now. Not only was it writing the list down, but also coupling it with a date of when I am going to clean it up with the people involved. This put a pit in my stomach.
I have no problem admitting when I am wrong but this seems so much more difficult! I have to find a vulnerability within this exercise to complete this. "Are they going to think I'm weird? Is it worth it? What if I make the same mistake again?" All of these thoughts have been standing in between myself and the task at hand.
What I realized is that I need to live with full integrity at this exact moment. I have been allowing any sort of feelings creeping up of being overwhelmed as an excuse not to do it. This has left me ultimately disempowered.
Taking integrity on from this moment forward will leave me the head-space to tackle the list and take on the coaching. I see the full benefits of taking this on -- and I will. So far, living in a moment-by-moment display of full integrity this past week has opened up a lot of great opportunities.
So where could you see benefits and rewards from "cleaning up" with those who were at the effect of you not honoring your word?